All That Sparkles (another preview)

Okay, so I am 70% done.  I'm doing that thing again where I've wrote too much and sta.sh writer's being annoying.  Most of what I'm doing right now is minor additions, but a lot of it is rearranging and fixing up some things while trying to make the decision of whether or not I should edit my index to accommodate for an extra chapter, or if I try making some of what I've written for this chapter fit into the final chapter after it (which is already written).  This will take some time, because as I've said before (but for those who don't already know), I have a LOT on my plate right now, and I'm moving in less than 2 months.  I'm under an immense amount of stress, and so any writing that I do is purely for stress release right now, but I won't push myself.  I love writing.  It's been keeping me sane this past couple of months, I won't lie, but I'm trying to make promises of when things will be released, but at this point I won't promise anything concerning when a chapter will definitely be released.  It makes writing less like an obligation and more like what I've always thought of it as:  my sanctity.


Anyways, so I doubt most of you read that.  But here is a small angsty short from my next chapter so ya'll have something new to read  ^_^  (btw, I freaking love this part, even though it's so sad... I'm just proud with how it came out):



    "If you . . . want to know the truth brother . . . I think I . . . understand you . . . more than you think."

    And now he's cradling me like a child, like a baby, and this is wrong.  I'd been taking care of him, trying my fucking best to make him happy . . . but . . oh God . .

    I slide my palm down my face, and he holds me tighter, his scarf falling over me the same time his tears do.

    I try to speak, but I can't.  It's like the words are stuck, and I can't make them come out.

    "I am sure that you are overwhelmed with grief, dear brother, and are unable to form words, but not to worry . . . for I . . . your bestest friend . . . am going to try my best to―no . . I WILL make it better again!"

    "it's already better!  it's already better!" I chant, over and over again as if the lie will become true just by speaking it, letting him cover me as I cling to him so tightly.  Like an umbrella, with holes in it, there's no stopping his tears from splashing against mine as he buries his face into my shoulder saying, "You're really cool, even if you're so lazy, and you won't get rid of your sock collection."  God, this . . this is so wrong!  What is wrong with me?  I need to get up!  I need to―

    "I had them lock the door, from the outside."

    Papyrus isn't stupid.  He's naive, maybe a little too innocent, and part of that is my fault, but when he struggles to see things like most people would . . . I mean, a hug of acceptance when someone just dusted practically every monster they just met?  But Frisk . . . fell to their knees as Pappy wrapped them up in his scarf, and so I mean, it worked out, right?

    Like when the king was dead, and so was every other eligible person to take the throne, but my brother . . . he's so cool, because he didn't want anyone to give up hope, so he took the throne, quietly, while everyone stared, and I mean, it worked out, right?

    He wrote to Undyne every day trying his best not to cry, and I would deliver his letters, because I couldn't tell him she was dead.  She was just on vacation.  For a month.  He started to drink, and no one would dare tell him the truth, because in truth, everyone answered to me.  They knew I would dust anyone stupid enough to give my brother a bad time, and I tried to give him a reason to hold on, but . . oh my God . . is that why he can never sleep, why he's so restless and constantly fixing his puzzles?  What am I DOING to him?

    "SANS, PLEASE, TELL HER TO COME BACK!"

    What am I DOING here?

    "paps, please, just leave it alone―"

    "BUT SHE'S GOING TO GET LAZY WITH ALL THIS TIME OFF!  YOU SAID MY WORD IS LAW, RIGHT?  SO TELL HER . . TELL HER THAT A COOL KING IS NOT A COOL KING AT ALL WITHOUT ANY FRIENDS!"

    What the fuck am I doing with my life?  While the kids and the flower were out playing God, I've been playing the fool, fucking kidding myself for ever thinking that there was any escape from this endless hell.